Porch Home "King Gussy"

Here at last!

Hooray, we have arrived at our home for a week. The satterite machine took us right to the house.
Phil was really impressed because we had to go down some pretty dirty tracks before we got here!
It was a lovely home, it had everything you needed, even a baffroom and a fridge specially for Phil's Bellhaven's.

Phil had not even finished bringing in all the bags and Marge had not finished her baff when I spotted some Raindarlings lurking in the woods
Blooming heck, I hope Phil does not drop any of Marge's bags or they might run off!

I heard a tip tapping at the other window and look who was there, Mr squzzle Jnr. He asked me how long we were staying ?
He told me that the Red's would like Munky nuts rather than peenuts because they are better value and can be bought at most good shops!
He told me that him and his mates will be around most of the time except on Sunday at mid day.
Apparently this is cos all the squzzles watch the Grand Pricks on flat screen TV at Big Reds tree hoose!
He asked me if I wanted to come but I don't think Marge would let me go! I did invite them all back whenever they wanted and he said fanks!
He said he had never met a "Wycombe White Fleece" before but said there was some field sheep just throught the woods.
Bab's does like this home!

He showed me how easy it was to get the nuts out of the packets.
Bab's did wonder if it would be much easier to eat just Peenuts, because they are already open.
Talking of nuts, Bab's likes Dry Toasted, poor old Squzzle he'd never even tasted them!

Bloomin heck he could pack the nuts in. He said that he does not eat them all, sometimes he runs off and hides them!
Sound like fun, Perhaps Bab's might try this at home, Just as long as Phil does not tell Marge what I was doing or she might go mad.
Whats wrong with nuts in the Fireplace or Vegi burgers in the book cases!

Marge and me started making our posting cards to send to all our friends.
Phil said it was a waste of time because he didn't have any friends! Poor Phil, he he!
Marge told him to shut up and open a Bellhavens and then he was happy!

Later on we decided to go and hunt some creatures, Phil recons we could easily catch an Eliphant or two.
Marge had to go back and change her pants because she laughed so much.
She left me to explain to poor Phil that Eliphants only live in Zoo's!
Poor Phil, he is not the brightest Cookie in the bunch!

While Marge was away, I hid behind this tree.
Poor Phil got into a right panic when he could not find me ha ha ha.

When Marge returned we went further into the jungle, It was a good job Bab's had took the time to watch "Bore Grills" survival programs on the TV.
Do you know this tree stump could easily be used to attract the attention of the rescue services or made into a Canoe, a Shelter, or even be used to make a fire to cook Kebabs !

"Bore Grills" told me that if you look under the stump you would find everything you need to survive!
I had a look but there was no food parcels and not even any packs of Juice!

Hello, whats this then?

Oh flip, all it was was a silly bit of stick. Bab's was hoping for a can of "Foresters" or at least a "Full Scotrish Breakfast".
They don't show this on "Bore Grills" do they?

Marge told me that you could survive for a whole week on a pile of Furr Cones.
I managed to collect loads but then Phil told me that Marge meant they could only be used to light fires for the week!
Phil said "Mushrooms are the key to survival in this environment", Marge said that there was a "Spar" just down the road!

I put all the cones back in place, Before I finished Marge got back from the local store with some goodies.
Thank goodness for that, it looks like we might make it out of the jungle after all!

On the way back "Tracker Babs" chased an old man "Hair" back to his Lair, struth this was a cracking house for an oversized Rabbit.
Phil said that he must be a rich Bunny.
I wonder if he had won the "Rational Lottery". Marge said she would build me one of these when we got home!

After Marge had another Baff, Phil drove us into "King Gussy". Babs is really excited about going to King Gussy's town, I wonder if we will see "Queen Gussy" while we are here.
Marge told Phil to find the old book and antiques shops and wait in the car. She was looking for a "Roof Randall" book that she needed for her collectshun, It was called "Morderer in a Hood", Phil said under his breath if she kept prodding him it might be starring "Phil".
I fink he was kidding but I will stay in the car wiff him just in case!

Eventually after a few hours Marge found her book, Then she decided it might be worth having a look in this "Ardware" shop.
Phil got really excited, he said that we might be able to get an "Egg Timer", Poor Phil he needs to get out more!
Actually Both Marge and Phil agreed this was the bestest "Ardware" shop in the whole world.
If you go to "King Gussy" and need anyfing, you will find it here.
"The Trading Post" sells anyfing from "Oringe squeezers" to "Crankshaft Spigot bearings for XR4i's"
Nice people there too. Phil said he wants to shop there forever!

After a long while Bab's managed to drag them both out and we went back to Porch home, The Raindarlings had moved in and were eating our garden grass.

Cor, the yung Raindarling was a cheeky munkey, he even stuck his tung out at Babs
Nah Nah na na naaa!
Phil said not to worry because Raindarlings had to eat grass, but Babs gets to eat anyfing Marge gets me for lunch.
Mmmmm, Fink I will have some Vegitarian Burgers for dinner, Nah Nah naa naa naaaa!

After my slap up snack Bab's had an early night, Marge and Phil stayed up to watch a Taggart that they had reincorded, and ended up sleeping in the next day!
Bab's was up wiff the sparrows and guess what? It had snowed, Hooray perhaps my old mate Barnacle will be here as well!
I do wish Marge and Phil would get up!

Come back soon to see if Barnacle does turn up, and the rest of our holiday!