"Bloomin Heck, That went quick"

Last few days of our bestest holiday ever!

Babs wanted to see if she had seen Merv and Gladys house, (or Hoose in Scotrish) was the one I had seen from the airingplane!
Babs was sure it was, but Phil kept whispering "Looser" to Babs so perhaps it was not!
Glad and Merv gave us a Coffee and showed Babs their gardin it was very nice, this is the gate to the "Harcus lawn".
Merv told Bab's that he used to run a Fun fair, Sail in Boats and was even a Butcher.
This worried Babs a bit until Merv promised her that his Butcher only sold Vagitarian Meet!
Just before we left Merv wispered in Bab's ear, "Och, the Crabs are bitin in the Norf".
Bab's thought it sounded quite painful, then she realised that Merv meant Crabs from the See!

After our visit we headed to Birsay, After what Merv had said Bab's wanted to try her Hoof at some catchin some of the little critters.
I needed some bait to catch them wiff so I borrowed a lump of "Orkney Rump Steak" out of the fridge, I hoped Marge and Phil would not mind,
When they bought it the other day from Kirkwall they told Bab's that it was vagitariun Rump Steak, So I know the Crabs will like it.
I was not wrong, Before I knew it my net was full of giant Crabbys. On "Bore Grills" he picks crabs up for fun so Bab's decided to do it too.

Ouch, Flip, Yikes this one has got sharp teef and gave Bab's a nasty nip!
You don't see that happening on the telly do you ?

At tee time there was a bit of a problem. Marge wanted Rump Steak but for some reason there was only one left.
Poor old Phil got a roasting because Marge thought he had had a midnight snack in the night! Bab's decided to keep quiet.
In the end Marge had her Rump, Bab's had a Dressed Crab full of pretend crab and salad and poor Phil had a Pot Noodle!

It was the end of another loverly day in Birsay. Bab's finks she could stay here forever!
Wonder how the boys would like it? I do miss them.
Must get them a posting card tomorrow!

Mmm, look at Phils Breakingfast. He had defreezed one of the Rumps out of the freezer and had it instead of Bacon.
Marge just had her five cups of Tee.

Babs made do wiff a fun sized box of "Jacobs Sticklets", Babs likes them a lot but Marge thinks they taste like Dog Poop.
Phil sniggered that he had never tasted Dog Poop, Marge cuffed his ear!

When we were full up we had a walk on the beech, we saw loads of boats and fings.
Babs was not sure but fought Marge was wearing a silly hat to hide her messy hair.
Phil said it was a touchy subject cos he couldn't start our cheepo generator so Marge could not use her Air Straightner.
Poor Phil can't do anyfink right!

Wow, even though she had a silly hat on Marge managed to find an interesting See Shell.
It was Hebridean Scallope one and showed one of Babs cozins on the inside!
Babs could not help lookin at Marges Silly hat though!

This reminded me about Mart and Stumpy. Wonder what they are doing now?
Phil said Stumpy is probably tunnelling under the carpet as we speak!

This is a place called the "Broch of Gourness" Marge said it was an area of great historical importance.
Phil said the builders probably didn't use enough cement, thats why it fell down!
Bab's thought it was bloomin windy and that was the real reason for its demise!

Another Bloomin Seagull Buzzed past and told Babs that the Crabs were not biting.
These silly birdies must fink Babs came down the Clyde on a Pineapple boat!
Bloomin silly Birdies!

Phil thought the Brock was a great place where you did not need a generator.
He said Marge could dry her hair in seconds cos its so windy.
He quickly ran off just in case Marge flipped!

Next morning was nice and sunny so we decided to head for Merv's Hoose in Kirkwall.
On the way we stopped to have breakingfast at the "Wing of Brodgar".
Marge and Babs finished off the Steaks and poor Phil only had left over Bacon, He, he, he.

Merv made Babs a cup of "Orkney Oxo" he said it would put air on my chest.
He also gave me a "Merv Harcus" Busyness card, Babs was really chuffed and promised to keep it forever!
Merv asked me to keep my ear out in case any vegitarian butchers wanted a part time worker.
Phil chuckled but I don't know why?

Bloomin flip pants, this is our last night on holiday and all my mates turn up!

"Where have you been boys?".
They told Babs that they were not allowed to fly in planes or sleep on the beach and did not even know who Merv Harcus was!
Babs is pleased she is not a field Sheep!

Hello it looks like the clouds are full of participation! Glad Babs lives in the motoringhome.

Oh deer, Babs mates are getting soaked, Phil said they don't mind because their hair drys itself.
Marge looked up from her newspaper wiff a face, Phil quickly went out to check Van tyres!
Poor bloke he is so under Marges finger!

0530 the next day poor Phil had to get up and drive us to the boat, Marge had a sleep in.
Babs was wide awake though and remembered to wish poor Phil "Appy Birfday", Phil was not too polite when he replied!
There was not many folk around, looks like we are nearly the only ones leaving the Orkneys!

Marge had to get up because she was not allowed to sleep on the boat, Phil said to keep out of her way just in case.
The see was really smoove.

Phil told me there had been snow on Hoy which was right in front of our boat.
He said he hoped there was not more in Scotrish or he might be late for work.
Marge was busy cussing because she had left her ciggys in the beast!
Phil said "Appy Blurry Birfday Phil!"

Bye Bye, Orkneys Babs was really sad to say cheerio.
Phil said next time we came here we would hear bells ringing!
Mmm, Merv never said anyfink about bell ringing!

Babs was really sad to see the "Old Man of Roy" for the last time, our holiday really felt over now.

Bye Bye, Wonderful Orkneys!

Struth, we got to the Engrish border and "This".
Roll on September to hear the Orkney bells!